#BlackGirlHealing: “The Very Thing I Wanted To Get Rid Of Became My Buffer From The World”

“It isn’t a matter of ‘if’ you will get diabetes, but ‘when’ you will develop it.”  That statement made me so angry, how dare that doctor, she doesn’t know me.  But, that statement haunted me for years, and I’ve been hiding with fear ever since because diabetes has disabled my father and stole my granny.  But, I hadn’t done anything about Fear. For about 15 years it continued to dictate my path.

READ: Unapologetically Healthy: 26 Of The Realest Reasons Black Women Walk

Then after having my kids, another warning, from my OB/GYN, “if you don’t get the weight off you will not live to see your grandchildren!”  My youngest is 10 years old now. So, when I say I’ve been running scared for more than 20 years, I literally have been running scared.

I’ve tried every diet, Quick Weight Loss, South Beach, Methodist Hospital Weight Loss Program, Slim Fast, Exercise Bulimia. Those are the ones that I can remember. I’ve been riding a weight loss rollercoaster my entire adulthood, and I’ve taken my loved ones on the ride with me.  When I lose the weight everyone shares my elation, and when I gain it back they share the disappointment, too.

Now, my greatest fear is dying in my sleep on a morning when my husband goes to work before I do and my kids try to wake me. I can’t let that happen.

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