Things Girls Who Diet Know Are True

Admit it, you’ve been through the seasonal cycle. In the spring, you start the summer countdown. You plan your wardrobe and all the fun things you want to do. Then, all of a sudden, summer is right on top of you and you are no where near where you want to be but there are patios and BBQ so you might as well just enjoy, right? And then fall is here. Days are shorter, weather is cooler. You get home from work and would rather settle into a massive pile of comfort food than go to the gym. Winter is holiday season so, well, you might as well forget that. Before you know it, it is spring and it starts all over again.

Here’s how this routine breaks down:

1. We talk about how fat we have become

2. We discuss with someone the best and quickest way to lose weight that still allows you to eat what and when you want (still undiscovered so let me know if you’ve found anything) 

 

3. We discuss it with our girls over a glass of wine – which we then promise to each other we will switch for a gin and slimline tonic, because its delicious and low in calories

4. We all promise each other to stick together on our weight loss journey

 

5. We all go to the gym to sign up because we are going to go every day for at least 6 months and look super hot

6. We sign up to classes with the fittest teachers to make us want to go

7. We research healthy super food salads on Pinterest that still look delicious

 

8. We get distracted and end up gourmessly staring at super attractive and skinny girls that we want to look like 

9. We print one out and stick it to the fridge

10. And set it as our wallpaper on our phone, laptop and tablet

 

11. And post a motivational quote on Instagram about weight loss and power to women

12. You tell everyone

13. You preach to everyone you meet about what they’re eating as if you’re some sort of expert suddenly

 

14. Buy a ‘skinny’ item of clothing that you will only fit into when you get to your goal and all your friends and your ex will love it

15. Its Friday and you wanna go out – fuck it, you can start again on Monday

 

Okay, so maybe I don’t go through all 15 of these steps but I definitely hit a few. Time to fess up, how many of these are familiar to you?

 

 

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