Freezer Spells

For the most part, I think that spells can be a valuable way to
“act” out your anger, resentment, bitterness or jealousy. The
very act of doing a spell can make a person who feels powerless
or victimized, feel at least briefly, for at time that they are
somehow in control of the situation again. I have found the
following “freezer” spells to be quite satisfying to do, if you
find yourself somehow dumped, oppressed or just plain wishing
for some kind of psychological torture to stop. I am not
completely sure if these spells or not, but when someone does me
wrong, the first thing that pops into mind is the frosty insides
of my refrigerator. I love these spells because they fall under
the category of corny spells, trailer trash wiccanary and
because they originate from such an emotional, passionate and
old style of witchcraft. Yet at the same time they are very
modern because they make use of the fridge. Technically too,
they fall under the category of black magic because they are
revenge spells, and represent the desire to control another
person. Being somewhat of a collector and connoisseur of corny
spells, trailer trash wiccanary and any ritual that allows you
to “act out your feelings” without necessarily hurting anyone, I
thought I’d share them with you because they are a few of my
favourites. Some of them have been sourced from Lexa Rosean,
author of the Supermarket Sorceress who is a master of Kitchen
Witchery. Still I think the important thing about a freezer
spell is to start with the basics and then make it your own. I
know one natural witch, (a famous Canadian singer in fact) who
knows nothing about freezer spells, yet every time she gets mad
at someone, she writes their name on a little piece of paper,
twists it up and throws it in the freezer to “make it stop!” I
discovered this one day when I was groping through her freezer
for some ice cream and a flutter of little pieces of paper fell
out to the floor. When I asked her about it, she told me her
intuition had told her to put the people “on ice.” The essence
of a freezer spell is about time. The idea is to stop something
in its tracks. Freezer spells also fall into the category of
binding spells, as often their purpose is to paralyse an
offender. They are used for protection, but mainly for REVENGE!
Here are a few of my favourites. THE BASIC ICE CUBE TRAY SPELL:
This is all-purpose and what I like about it is that you can use
magickal ingredients to sweeten or sour the mix before you chuck
it in the freezer. Basically, you take twelve small pieces of
paper and write down the names twelve people or situations who
have not been very nice to you or who have irked you or done you
wrong. Think of twelve people who have been hostile to you, or
who have a bad attitude towards you or who have behaved as
obstacles to what you want in your life or career. Now stick
these twelve pieces of paper in the ice cube tray compartments
and add a little sugar, or honey to sweeten up their attitude
towards you. You could also add a few other things as well if
you wanted – a little dill or parsley powder for improved
communication, orange water for joy or rose water to increase
loving vibrations. Then you fill the rest of the tray with water
and stick in the freezer. I like this spell because it is
relatively innocent and is persuading others to think of you
kindly and not to harm you. A more vengeful version of this
spell would be to add substances like vinegar (to sour their
experiences) cigarette ashes (to cause depression) or
horseradish (to cause arguments.) If your resentment is directed
towards a particular individual, perhaps a male who has dumped
you for some one else you might consider doing this IMPOTENCE
spell. While shopping for the cucumber at your local vegetable
store, try and find one that resembles your ex-partner’s actual
member when it is erect. At the very least this will get you
giggling. Then carve his name and his birth-date into the flesh
of the cucumber and throw it into the freezer. It will start to
go soft and wither after a few weeks, and while this happens,
imagine him and the sweet young thing that he betrayed you
having conversations like “I swear this has never happened to me
before.” “It’s ok. I understand.”

The ultimate freezer spell however, in terms of sheer nastiness,
is this BREAK THEM UP freezer spell in which you write the
offending couple’s names on a piece of paper (if you don’t know
the name of the person coming between you write “unknown rival”)
You put the pieces of paper in a Tupperware container along with
a piece of rotten fish, fill it with water and freeze it. Fish
are symbols of fertility and happiness, so the ultimate purpose
of this ritual is to have the two lovers become turned off from
each other. One person, who tried this spell, told me she
laughed her head off, when her boyfriend came back to her and
complained that his new lover had terrible B.O. I haven’t tried
this one myself, but she says it worked. Lexa Rosean also boasts
success with this one. I can’t guarantee these spells work, but
if you are too chicken to enact some real revenge (like turn the
person into the I.R.S.) these little rituals at least satisfy a
desire for “petty revenge”.

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