QuestionQUESTION: Hi, Evelyn!
I just read one of your answers to another ladies' question on PMS regarding constipation. I thoroughly enjoyed it and was very impressed. I am 28 years old, recovering "alcoholic." I mention this because I want to give you an idea where I am in terms of my EGO and spirit. I will be sober for two years at the end of May. I am currently not working a program because I have been taking premed classes for my appicationy to a Naturopathic school in the near future.
My question is what is off balanced when my menstrual cycle is ever changing? My breasts currently swell to almost a completely new cup size, once I start my period, I bleed very light, I have diarrhea for the first couple of days. I become extremely irritable, sensitive to noise, people, anything really outside of me. I used to crave meat, but I have not been eating meat for almost 3-4 weeks now. I avoid dairy because it makes the diarrhea worse. I am an athlete and try to run aND LIFT WEIGHTS 3-4 times a week but I have been averaging once a week. I bike though currently which makes me feel better about being active, but I know I should be working out more and want to.
I feel disorganized and overwhelmed. Did I mention I work at a pharmaceutical marketing agency full time as well? Please assist in what I can do or who I can see to become more balanced and feel grounded and present in my daily life...especially when I am menstruating.
Thank you,
Lauren
ANSWER: Dear Lauren,
Hope you have a moment, your enthusiasm with one of my earlier responses has inspired me to address your question in depth! Here goes.
From an Anthroposophical medicical perspective we know that at age 28 the Ego body becomes freed from the more physical development of yourself , and can be applied to higher goals or ideals. Now is the time to 揼row up?and become responsible for the success of our life-mission in the next 7 year cycle. This stage is a sun-stage and in particular in aide of the development of the intellectual soul, a refined aspect of our astral body. You get to lay pretty definitive foundations and develop a rudimentary understanding of what life has to mean for yourself if you are to be true to yourself (this is not to say that you will begin to fulfill this life mission already: this might not happen until you are 79!).
It is good to hear, that in principle, and especially compared to the years before, you have a level, clear, sober head on your shoulders, now. It is the perfect time to consolidate your intentions and fortify them. You are quite lucky (I know, it's a blessing in a big disguise!) to have a health condition which paints where you are at, in living colours. At least, this prevents a dormant, festering disorder that will bite you unexpectedly in mid-life. So, let's get to work!
Alcoholism (or any form of excessive or regular alcohol intake which aims to 搒elf-medicate? weakens the Ego. It forgets about its cosmic reality and ignores spiritual guidance ?even when you are not actually drunk, but still a regular drinker. If you drank as a teen and then steadily more till you became a heavy drinker in early adulthood, you will not have much of an Ego to fall back on, at least not one that is used to doing life on Earth. It can be really hard to imagine a life without the pseudo-alcohol persona. Remissions are common with young alcoholics, who may need to carry this label for life to remind themselves of this weak disposition. This is how it may look like alcoholism is genetic or hereditory. It can run through a family, and definitely be the red thread of your own life that the Ego is poorly integrated. One symptom of this would be alcoholism but there are many other ?mental or organic ?disorders equally symptomatic of this spiritual integreation error.
It is the I's job to ground itself firmly in reality however scary, harsh, or unpredictable it may be. It takes several years to become anyway near half decent at managing this, so it is ridiculous to expect young adults to be mature around 18. At 21 this Ego is technically at your disposal for responsible mind and soul work (fourth seven-year phase). Then the ups and downs begin! For those with set- backs or other events which cause developmental retardations, 21 is maybe not even a starting point, e.g. for they who had to grow up during childhood already (through abuse, or harrowing trauma).
For most of us getting to know yourself begins (or never begins!) with becoming familiar with your Ego. You have to live life to get to properly know its strengths, AND accept its weaknesses.
The past two years must have been very challenging for you! I am sure you can be very proud of yourself. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. Often a dark shadow starts to rear its head after a year or so of sobriety. We don't want to empower this while the I is just settling down within you.
It is best to gradually let this shadow fade away as you become lighter and lighter by standing in your truth. Head-on confrontations are pretty pointless on the whole. Naturally, it takes a life time to get to know your True Self, but typically after you decide to stop drinking new revelations can come hard and fast and smack you in the face from time to time. This is junk swirling around in the unknown darkness we all have within. There are also energies or entities who were comfortable in those shadows, and want you to wrestle with them and provide them with more space to live in. But you know how to thumb your nose at them! Remain resolved!
I am not quite sure what you mean by 搚our menstrual cycle is ever changing? This would be important to know, and you can always get back to me if my reply does not include this aspect sufficiently. Did you used to have very heavy periods, for example? Or are you irregular now?
First, we all know that our cycles are influenced by emotional, spritual and physiological factors. As compared to men, women are less deeply incarnated; they have less iron in their blood to reflect this (iron is an incarnating metal). During bloodloss, there will be even less of this incarnating metal to bind them to matter! They are therefore more open to cosmic influences, again, which is necessary for the reproductive function they have: to receive another soul from the cosmos (with ovulation as a gateway).
If the etherbody is working well, there is health. This etheric quality can be compared to the life of plants. For humans (and animals), however, we also need death or destructive forces! These catabolic forces are guided by the astral. This makes us excrete stuff and be mobile. So health for us is a balance between upbuilding and destruction. Furthermore, we have an I or Ego-body (a spiritual quality only available to man) which oversees all this.
Your upbuilding force is strong, as we note from the very swollen breasts you suffer with each cycle. The etheric force of this glandular process is indeed too strong. It indicates a displacement of the etheric which uses the water household to live in. It also indicates that the astral guidance is failing to get a proper grip on the etheric, which leads to these congested 損ockets?of etheric. I wonder if you are also particularly bloated in the belly, or in your face and hands/feet, pre-menses?
The astral body is directed by the I in matters of the menstrual cycle. The I pushes it more deeply into the centre of the body, or heart of the matter, importing higher messages through the feminine principle.
Our menstrual cycle is ruled by the Ego organisation. It is not determined by seasons or the availability of sexual partners. It still echos a lunar cycle with its 28 day pattern, but it is otherwise free of the moon. We are still influenced by externals but there is a freedom of physiology, as we say in Anthroposophy, which points to the purpose of man's life: to individualise in spiritual freedom. (We are not like crabs crowding onto the beach at full moon! But astrality sometimes drives us to similar animal-like behaviours, on the beach, in the disco etc....).
We can see how delicate and sensitive the female-organism is from all the many personal differences or anomalies that come with a woman's period. Of course, men have many various secondary sex variances and issues, but women especially during their reproductive years fluctuate more (because they are more 揻luid?with more etheric). They are less 揷onsolidated?and the astral body is more of a body suit than a strengthening tonic. They reveal the state of their higher members (astral/I) more openly and continuously, through their body shape, moods, and the condition of their cycle. They are also, thereby, more in communication with nature and other synchronic fields. Not to mention more intuitive and more vulnerable to astral attack (emotional onslaughts or materialistic constraints for starters).
Some of examples of this is how women sharing close quarters tend to synchronise their periods; traumatic experience or extended lack of male contact may bring on secondary amenorrhea ( e.g. in extreme ?war/captivity - situations ). Needless to say, it is well known that drugs and malnutrition also disrupt the work of the Ego-astral, causing absent periods as a symptom.
All 搘obbly?head conditions, like dizziness or migraines, incl. light-sensitivity, also indicate a metabolic over-flow and not enough astral-I counter check. The astral has not integrated the ether body, or gripped it sufficiently at the lower pole. This is often caused by a cold lower system. We can take this literally or spiritually: they reflect eachother, ultimately. The Ego-body needs warmth to work in. Hence it's favorite location: the blood.
While our glandular processes with their fluid motions are part of the ether body, the hormones and their activation proper is caused by the astral body. This explains how emotions can so easily influence this process. Swollen breasts indicate a lot of estrogen. Each hormone is a messenger from the cosmos. This ultra female hormone may be trying to tell you something about how you are treating the woman inside. The lower pole is struggling to accept, embrace and cope with the feminine. Perhaps, this relates to the ticking of a biological clock, which makes you nervous, sad or otherwise emotional? In any case, the ether is left rampant, bubbling about, causing diahoerrea, amongst other symptoms.
The menstrual cycle is both a metabolic and a rhythmic process. It consists of three phases: an upbuilding one, a ripening one, and an expulsuray one. In the first phase we have ovulation and a happy etheric doing what it must. in the second phase we are supposed to become a bit more astrally toned: we need a catabolic force to enter and 揳bort?the idea of a pregnancy ?no conception took place after all. Does the soul lose heart at this stage, and say, I can't be bothered with all this mummy-malaki; I am just a kid at heart? There seems to be insufficient thickening of the endometrium and no grand finale clean-up.
The second stage is a kind of summer, a time to ripen. We need to sit in the 揾eat?of astral-I activity (the body temperature raises with ovulation, e.g.). It is not a time to do rocket science unless you are particularly so inclined! Especially where the soul is struggling you have to help it adapt to its female condition. I wouldn't say you must knit and bake, but a certain degree of introversion is necessary in this phase. Often women, already, naturally don't feel very extroverted, or 揳ttractive?during this phase (there is no natural call to start dating, if you are not already doing so). Of course, moden woman must carry on with modern life, even during a painful period, but if she particularly expects success and pushes herself with ferocious ambitions, she may have to pay a price of mental peace and physical health (in older age, especially). Women are tough as boots, but they do wear out and suddenly 搕urn old?if they have not called upon their inner female beauty in time. Then they must struggle on for many, long, weary years afterwards: it is where we get our image of the old crone from, in fairy tales. So, try to be mild and caring for yourself during this phase. Eat well (fresh, colourful, fragrant foods), enjoy little luxuries (rather than indulge in cravings), pamper yourself leisurely, if only with a relaxing shower, or five minutes with a good book and your feet up every day (make it a discipline!).
In this difficult second phase, the astral body ought to become increasingly more involved at the lower pole. (It is why some of us become a bit dippy in the head, or forgetful with age during this time of the month.) We can measure this activity by markedly increased levels of arsenic in the blood. This metal enables the astral to take hold of etheric and have a catabolic (destructive) effect. It reaches the deepest, most unconscious nervous system. If the astral does not permeate deeply enough and stays on the perimeter it causes itching, burning, restless legs or frazzled nerves and irritations.
Such a reluctant, lazy or often times once bitten, twice shy astral body needs to be reeled in and sometimes pushed in because incarnation is not always a lot of fun. This is then the time to take sitz-baths with an invigorating herb like marjoram or lemonbalm (make a strong tea of loose leaves and add. Otherwise use compresses on the lower abdomen, with a luke warm hot-water bottle.). A vaporiser with lavender comes in handy for a few sprays in your bedroom, before going to bed: this is relaxing. (You could also rub some lavender oil over yourself. And try some evening tea, with chamomile, lemonbalm, or oat, lavender and rose.) The better and quicker you can get off to sleep the better and quicker the astral can slip out of you to then slip back in more robustly the next morning, especially if you wake yourself up thoroughly with a lemon-water drink or rosemary hydrolate in some water for a quick rinse of your face and arms. Once the astral is firmly established at this pole, it can sink lower with a good breakfast and then a brisk work to work would be ideal.
Footbaths with rosemary (milk) help bring down the astrality (away from the head) after a mentally demanding day. Stay mindful of keeping that head uncluttered. Tidy up around the house, or your wardrobe, or your garden etc, just to remind yourself of this. Do in 3D, what you want your soul to do within! And this is why exercise is good. too. Feel those feet! Experience thos muscles. Yoga or Callenetics, or Feldenkrais, or Tai-chi is best for this consciousness training, which appeals to the astral-I to incarnate fully, by taking part in a conscious way in body motion. It makes Eurhythmy so curative for this type of disorder, too. Walking might even be better than cycling, but as long as it gets you out in nature, battling the elements and calling upon your endurance it is all good. The problem with lifting weights is that you do not get to feel your own weight, or the pull of gravity. Push-ups, sit ups, squats, steps, even boxing-balls are better. It is important to sink into yourself and not fall into mental personal challenges. Weights measure life a bit too much in a material sense. Your astral won't relate this to herself and watch your body sweat, while it waits patiently to bug you on a terrain she knows better (your head). Remain realistic about what you can do per week and train your soul up like a pet dog for a while. She must obey! Then she gets a treat. This is I-organisational work, and real foundation-course work. Whatever you put in now, however slow or disappointing to you the results, they will last into all eternity!
A small side step into your past with alcohol might help you see the bigger picture.
Esoterically speaking, in the lower pole there is a seat of I-consciousness which pertains to willing. Here we find (little) pools of blood, in the major organs, and a great deal of motion. Also, it's pretty dark and chaotic in the abdominal area. The kidneys sit at the top of this cave, back lighting this area for us (they have a brain like quality, albeit they belong to the metabolic system: this is esoteric medicine for you). We can get to sit here (Zen Buddhists do little else) and contemplate this darkness, and watch it dance with the light of our consciousness.
Clearly men and women, for their physiology alone experience this motion of will differently. (Their blood flows differently for the discrepant genital organisation. The male or yang must project astrality, the female or yin must receive astrality.) However, they have to come to the same understanding via different (complementary) paths. This is why teaming up (partnerships) can be helpful in this task of understanding ourselves. We can learn what we are not, but also are, if you get the hermetic truth of the androgyn we all are. The separation of the sexes has a highly spiritual purpose, but we find this very tricky to see and work with. Even tantric yoga is only a way to glimpse at what this might mean.
In fact, a woman can stare it right in the eye every month of her reproductive life.Around these years she imagines and intuits. These are spiritual ways of thinking. Perhaps, we should say, she can BEHOLD it (in her lap).
Overtly speaking, her blood does less with her (no erection for example). Her will life is more internal, and closer to the heart. The circulatory-rhythmic system does not want to extend itself past herself. There is no bow and arrow drive for her; the tension is more subtle, or evenly spread, but therefore harder for (modern) woman to sustain or even identify. We are all asked to perform and show our strength nowadays. This is a loss of the feminine. Before we know it we are lead to believe we are weak, for this natural yin-passivity.
Men and women alike both ARE weak when it comes to the I, that is why we are here! To train up this I into a strong spiritual, independent, free entitity! A past with alcohol always illustrates honestly how weak it is. But we must take rough terrain and weed this, like a derelict patch of garden.
There is a great renunciation and often despondency to imbibing alcohol excessively. A fundamental sense of impotence and failure underlies it. We say that a drink gives us 揇utch courage?and there may be little harm in a sip of brandy after a shocking incident or a shot of whisky after hours of hiking across the frosty Scottish highlands, but of course, it shows up incompetence and fear, and lack of self-belief to get drunk before or during socialising (especially with the opposite sex).
The 揻ields?of feeling and thinking are more easily tended. Given a half decent childhood and a proper education, civilised living conditions and enough freedom to dream, modern man is getting the picture on the importance of clear feeling and thinking. We know we are not computers or healthy with repressed emotions, or honest with emotions that have been influenced by traditional expectation, media or social propaganda. Feeling is not just emotion (or not at all, even). Thinking is not calculation and preservation. It is what makes us fully human, utterly disconnected from the ape. What is willing, though? if it is not wanting things, desiring, satisfying lust? It is a kind of selfless aspiration with the utmost creative potential. What that exactly entails, is something for you to meditate on.
In the meantime, take care not to be deluded by the wishes of the mind and second-hand thoughts that are alien to your own I. They are necessary mirrors and more weeds to tug at, so also, all good, but they are not your spiritual, eternal, infinite reality.
The (ab)use of alcohol causes a special (disturbed) dynamic between the higher members of the organism. In effect it cancels out the voice of the Ego and makes the astral omnipotent. It becomes a little dictator! A sargeant-major who just likes to yell and feel important. It does not have the wisdom to guide you through life. It tends to make a mess out of our lives.
Where is the Ego during all this? Gone fishing, out playing golf, whatever it is we think this God who has deserted us is doing. The I is not God, but we (the soul) sometimes mixes this stuff up and this only makes her more despondent, naturally. If God were I, then God sucks! So, humbling ourselves and being able to say I don't know who I am (is), makes a nice start. It sets out reality and you can tackle this logically, methodically and not get your knickers in an emotional twist.
You can then begin to discover who you are. Which is one hell of a hellish task at times, and no wonder we like to crack open a bottle of fine French wine, once in a while. Sun, warmth, divine peace in a bottle can make for an inspiring evening if done in style (hence in the company of caring friends, or even in the presence of Christmas spirits if you are destined to be alone). But this is not to drink alcohol as much as it is to taste the blood of Christ ?by which I mean the sap of life. For life is what we have NOW, and not later. We need to find a way to make this now last, to transform it into something ETERNAL. This is what the soul must realise, make so. Converting life, its food, its scents, its bird song, its symphonic orchestras, its books of poetry, its billions of scripts, its very language into the spiritual currency. Cash in now! Alcohol is all about fermentation, it ferments life, trying to preserve it as it is. That cannot ever work. You must savour it.
That is why we have wine and whisky tasting which should compare to tea and chocolate tasting. That is why pigging out on candy bars and civil servants hiding behind endless cups of tea never getting to the point of being helpful, is almost as 揵ad?(or useless for the I) as getting drunk. Both are mindless and pretty much waste your time on earth. But we can also understand how it happens, why, and be merciful on others and ourselves. You see, it has to be possible, whatever you do. You cannot make the impossible happen (that is abstract nonsense). This brings us to the subject of trust and surrender (which makes things more possible). A whole chapter of its own which I will spare you now.
Remember, how the I-body uses warmth as its medium. Thus it is intimately linked to the circulatory and respiratory system. It is important to nurture this region. Love does this naturally: so make sure you love what you do, what you are, what you aspire to become. Religions are supposed to remind us to love: they link the physical up to a purpose of life and offer set practices which aim to harmonise or balance your higher members. Religion has become too institutionalised for most modern people, it has mainly become reduced to a hub for male domination. A wiser way makes for a gentler, individual approach.
Creating a quiet spot, or sacred space (a tiny altar, just a card of something beautiful or precious, with a candle you can light daily, a flower you can refresh regularly, a crystal or other object you can invest with positive touch, will make a great exercise. You may come up against resistance to this idea, or find it vague, or you may want to become more focussed and reverent if you are already on this path.
This quiet, breathing space, must grow with extended practice and more moments of observation throughout the day. The rhythm of waking and sleeping can be made more conscious, at the moment of waking up and going to bed, by spending some time to take deep breaths, or you could stretch and pause, perhaps with a verse or prayer. This alternation of waking-sleeping, or yin-yang, darkness-light is all around us, all the time. By becoming more sensitive to this you deepen a sense of rhythm and stimulate flow and reintegration.
Colourful, warming, cheerful, lovingly prepared meals help you practice this exercise two times a day, at least, I would hope (breakfast and dinner are musts). I am sure living in California helps to make this possible! But remember to source your warmth from within and not to resort to merely sopping it up as you go along.... It does not matter if you don't eat a great breakfast but find a few rituals you can invest with extra intent and care first thing in the morning. Try an elixer, an extract, a lemon-water drink or a herbal tea as a regular 搈edication? It sets up the spirit in you, inviting it down firmly to earth. It takes time, years even, before such a routine becomes something you can reap from without fail no matter what the day throws at you.
Meat, dairy, protein is not something that is going to benefit you, indeed. With a diminished Ego-astral activity in the metabolic system you are prone to putrefaction and diahoerrea, cold feet, lethargy, or a generally weakend (cold) liver system can result. This in turn will lead to irritability and/or depression. Keep drinking plenty of fluids but consciously so. It is not at all a habit I approve of that we carry water bottles around all day and gulp from them almost automatically every so often. Take the time to PREPARE ?consciously! - a warming drink with envigorating properties. Smoothies or energy drinks are equally as obnoxious for this quick-fix reason! The occasional smoothie can boost your energy, but beware of excess.
Whole grains are great for stimulating the astral in the metabolic pole, by providing plenty of foreign ether to get its teeth into. Think of wheat, rye, barley, oats. They each have very different properties: oats are fiery, rye is rich in potassium and the sound of water (melodious). Wheat must be of a high bio-dynamic organic quality, otherwise opt for spelt, to benefit the most from its formative earthy force.
Grains are full of sun, or solar-power, hence warming and Ego-friendly foods, which really feed the body's middle region: lending strength to heart and lungs. Besides, containing fats and proteins as well as carbohydrates they are nutritious on a physical level. But on a spiritual level they ask your I-astral to get stuck in and divest these plantfoods from their vegetable nature to make them absorbable by the human tract. This is the kind of work your astral should be getting on with!
Fruits, full of cosmos (light, warmth) carry more moral nutritional values. This is what makes them essential in the formation of good quality blood and stimulators of the blood flow. But citrus and tropical fruits, like bananas, mangoes and guave, papaya or other more exotic jungle fruits are a bit too 搇oud? their astrality is too superficial or easy. Ripe, red strawberries, raspberries and blackberries are more down to earth and fragile.They have no outer armour (thick skins) Observe how each berry is a tender heart-shaped collection of minature fruits. This upbuilding, childlike and community spirit is what you need to reactivate within yourself. Apples, elderberry, quince from the rose-family help to astralise the lower pole lightly, especially with the message of will.I am not sure how indigenous all these fruits are to you, but think of fruit from bushes or stocky trees rather than massive trees. Grapes and kiwis are good too, the latter especially, like one a day for breakfast (fruit makes a superb breakfast). Rosehip emports a lot of light into the metabolic system (vitamin C is the consolidation of light).
You can send extra warmth to the metabolic-limb system with seeds (tahin, sunflower seeds, pumpkin oil, pinenuts in salads, chia seeds as a super-food snack). Sprouts (ruccola, gardencress, alphalfa, radish) add a spice to this warmth which is marvelously invigorating for spring and spring processes in the body. But do not over do it on these foods either, as phosphorus rich foods stimulate the brain or nervous system. (Chocolate is also high in phosphorus so not ideal if you are already irritable.)
Leafy vegetables, especially salads, should be staple. (Don't mix fruit and veg in the same meal though.) These stimulate the rhythmic system which is crucial in the work to reconnect upper-lower poles and nerve-sense with metabolic dynamics. Leaves help you breathe, which you can well imagine if you meditate on their own breathing, and 揺ating?(solar-conversion process).
Flower teas stimulate the warmth system, stirring stagnant depths, connecting depths to periphery, and instigating flow. They also warm the kidney which is a seat for the astral.
Once you are better grounded, feet upon the earth, the transition from winter (dead thinking, head forces) to spring (upbuilding processes) will become easier. Joyous distractions from abstractions or worries is remedial here. Try something artistically therapeutic. Don't forget to have a good laugh from time to time. For the rest absorb beauty, be it in nature or art. Look for sweet little nothings in music, crafts, smiles and cloud patterns to name but a few ideas.
Remember to also be nice to the liver, a passive, patient, but very perceptive organ. It probably got quite mangled by your alcoholic years. It literally is stimulated by the way food looks, and taste activates the release of bile, already. The whole process of tasting, chewing, enjoying meals is super important for the activation of the necessary digestive juices (ptyalin in the mouth, pepsin in the stomach, trypsin in the pancreas, bile in the liver). The liver is the great regulator of the etheric, anabolic processes and will help you in the first phase of your cycle. Regular mealtimes and plenty of sleep (but don't crash or sleep-in on weekends!) are all part of liver maintenance.
There is no need to eat only raw foods, because this would be way too challenging and demanding of your inner strength. Indeed, warming soups and vegetable stews or sauces will be more encouraging and should be taken alongside salads.
Yoghurt is a nice food, since it is 搑aw?but fermented, so pre-cooked in a way. It is a cold food, but its dairy quality is warming. It is an easy source of protein without putrefying the system ?easily digestible. Yoghurt cultivates a healthy bowel, which again, makes for a nice reception for the higher members, who like nicely paved roads and not the jungle an etherbody can get used to (and have a rampant time there!). Served with honey it envigorates the I-body. It might be an idea to include yoghurt into your diet on a daily basis (not together with fruit): it shouldn't cause diahoerrea. The lacto-bacteria add a plant-like energy to an animal product (milk).
I hope to have given you a little insight into the root of your problem and some pathways you might like to explore in an attempt to remedy it. I am very excited for you about your naturopathy course. It will no doubt make a great contrast to your current job with the pharmaceutical industry! It makes for a very good combination, I feel, to have one foot in the conventional field and the other in a complementary one. But don't forget to keep your heart steady in self-belief ?which hopefully will include an understanding of the spiritual being you ultimately are.
Above all remain calm and confident during this busy and demanding phase. People can often manage more than they think, but they also have the tendency of keeping up with some crazy standard nobody had a good reason to invent to begin with. Make sure you devise a regular exercise routine which also feels natural: something you can also put your soul into.
I am here for any more details on things I may have mentioned without clarifying sufficiently!
All my very best,
Love, Evelyn.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thank you Evelyn for taking the time to answer my question in so much depth! It all makes sense and makes me feel less 揷razy攏ow when I am menstruating and completely feeling swollen , itchy, and out of place. I do become bloated in the stomach as well. I have never noticed my feet, hands, or face becoming swollen but it抯 possible I just don抰 notice. What I meant by my cycle everchanging (and sorry to be so vague but now that you mention the stages of the cycle, it seems that I was definitely in the second stage. I was so irritable and frustrated, but at the same time mentally not present and having a hard time typing my question to you! )So my cycle used to last around 7 days, I was heavy in the beginning days and would become lighter as the days went on, I would cramp, feel exhausted and crave red meat. Now I become extremely exhausted my flow is light to non existent in the beginning and really doesn't become heavy at all anymore. My face breaks outs. Of course, you know my breasts swell and I am anxious with a lot of irritability for a day or two. I start spotting mid month too which scared me at first because has never happened. My mom who is a physician reassured me that spotting is normal.I also feel like I am "PMSing" before and after I am bleeding. Like currently as I am typing this I am no longer on my period but still feel anxious an out of place.
Thank you for giving me tips and suggestions on my diet and exercise. I will most definitely follow those concepts. Why not eat fruit with yogurt?
Regards to the information you provided on my "alcoholism" I definitely did my share of abusing my liver with the alcohol and other drugs I consumed heavily before college, during and years afterwards.I did start at twelve became a binge drinker by 14 and a heavy drinker throughout college and after. I was slowing down once I moved to LA, but had huge insights where I almost got into serious trouble that made me rethink my use of the substance. My mother is my Eskimo. She is sort of a medium (doesn't embrace it publicly) and gave me a reading on what I need to do to heal. Her guides pretty much told me to admit that I was an alcoholic...it took me several more months after that to actually attend my first AA meeting. MY life has changed since then so much for the better- but I do feel stuck and confused and agree with what you are saying with the I and Ego. I don't know who to listen to. It's very difficult for me to listen to my heart.
The dark shadows are creeping their ugly heads and I must admit that I have been listening to them just a bit, but am continuing to pray and meditate as much as I can to keep me sober and honest and willing to do the work necessary to maintain my sobriety.
The high estrogen levels and the swelling of the breasts being related to my attitude towards the feminine is so interesting. I am in a relationship in which I have been discovering more of my masculine side which I always embraced when I was younger until my junior high years where my mother literally told me I couldn't be a tomboy anymore. I could say I am ignoring my feminine side but really don抰 know what it looks like which I guess is going into the part of the "discovery" of who I am which you were talking about. I am interested in having you discuss more in depth the importance of the I/ego and what it should be assisting us spirits in doing physically on this earth. I would like to know more of its role and the role it has with this lower pole. Is the lower pole chakras 1-3?
I have so many questions but I don't know what the policy is for back and forth activity on this site. So my general questions are related to of course what you and answered for me and I just want to say thank you so much for getting into so much depth with these answers. Are there books where you can refer me to read up in the astral body, etheric, and these growth and development stages? I was not familiar with the Anthroposophical medicinal field until now. I am wanting to incorporate engender medicine and spiritual aspects such as this to my naturopathic education. What did you mean by the fermentation and us wanting to preserve it, when it shouldn't be preserved? And the abstract behaviors that come out of it? I am learning about trust and surrender as we speak but truthfully I don't understand the concept of surrender and letting go. Can you give me a better understanding of this and how it relates to the I/ego? I may be going off subject and I do apologize but I haven't heard of such a holistic comprehension of the body, mind, and spirit before so please excuse me for wanting to keep this conversation going.
Thank you again so very much for taking the time in answering my first questions. I will understand if you can't assist further or need to be less detailed. I just appreciate this experience so much and am so grateful that I found you and this site!
All my gratitude!
Lauren
AnswerHi Lauren,
I enjoyed reading more about your background, filling in bits and confirming hunches I had. This is always very rewarding, and offers me the opportunity to further dot some i's and cross some t's on the information I have already provided.
I am very happy to address the questions that you have posed in the follow up; they make a lot of sense and show you are really serious about getting to know your true potential. Your health issues actually paint a very clear picture, and it seems very possible that you can lift some veils in the coming seven year period. This work IS the very stuff of surrender and moving forward is made of! All you need to start with is trust. Already, posing the Question here as you have, is a sign of your ability to trust! It is a special trust in your personal guidance that believes in light and the colours of life. This guidance will surely lead you down the Right Path, and don't let slow and stalled progress make you doubt it! But doubt is only natural, too! It means you are not yet feeling single-minded. There are exercises to help you feel the reality of being, which is a single-minded affair, even if you seem to be hopping from one foot onto the other: both feet belong to the one and same heart.
I can try to go into such exercises, and I think I may have one or two useful things to add on this subject, hopefully; and I can try to explain a few things better; but we may need to cut things up in a few back and forward exchanges to make sure we stay on track and address the issue as close to your personal situation as possible. So, I would like to answer you via my email which is
[email protected]. Could you mail me there if you wouldn't mind this route? Just a confirmation will do, I shall take the points you raised from here and begin to answer them as soon as I have gathered some concrete thoughts (incl. reading tips).
I don't know if you can make this Question Private (it is an option I sometimes come across, but I cannot activate this function from my side) but that would help keep my email safe. Otherwise not to worry, I shall live in trust! But do clearly state you are an About Questioner (and your name) in your subject box of your email to avoid getting eaten up by my Spam filter.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Take care for now,
Evelyn.
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