QuestionHi Evelyn,
I am wondering if you can give me some advice! Before getting pregnant, I weighed around 105 (I am a little over 5 ft tall). I gained around 40 lbs during my pregnancy- I ate well and exercised. Since having my baby 5 months ago though, I have not been able to get rid of the excess weight. In fact, I think I have gained a few pounds instead! I have 20+ pounds to lose and no matter what I try, I just cant seem to lose them. I am breastfeeding my baby- I have heard everything from breastfeeding will take the weight off to breastfeeding will cause you to retain the weight.
I guess my question is- what can I do or try that can help? I still exercise when I can and I think I eat pretty healthy. I have recently tried to eat more whole grains and protein- but havent noticed any change in the past month since making that change to my diet.
I am still wearing my maternity clothes because they are the only things that fit so I am desperate to get back to my old self!
Thanks for any help you can give!
AnswerHi Kristen,
Your question is a very common one, and I am glad to receive it, because it is full of wonder and query. No wonder to me, because that weight-loss you are promised by all sorts of well-willing people is a tremendous myth for the HEALTHY and very caring mom.
Honestly, five months post-partum is no time at all. The infant develops fast at first, so it makes you feel like you are lagging behind! But once you understand where a new life is heading, the few physical sprints it is currently making are most deceptive to modern eyes. Worst of all, we adults are compelled to think in like-wise physical terms.
The thing is, dear Kristen, most important to bear in mind: you have a fully developed ether, and astral and ego body, that cannot just serve your material body. Regardless of these esoteric labels, just know you are a four-fold being, and physical changes are now ONLY the final effects of underlying processes.
Whilst you are breastfeeding you are connected to the child on an extremely spiritually intimate level, your body is almost in complete unison with its etheric needs i.e. the life forces which pull the child further down into life, rooting her deeper in an earth existence. Losing weight is not a naturaly reaction to this! The fact that you are even putting on weight is down to more complex factors of our time: in a sense this weight functions as a cushioning - in our modern day and age we need more cushioning because being a mother is not as valued and respected as it ought to be. The only way you will be able to lose weight is by exercising a lot more.
Exercise is that which "moves" us out of one state into another: in weightloss programmes it generally is meant to bring us out of our "comfort zone" and push us towards new frontiers. It would not be natural for you to go there, yet.
It would be excellent to remain breastfeeding (exclusively, if possible) till your baby is 6 months. Then slowly one begins to ween, this depending a bit on the infants appetite and needs. This weening process is the first step towards the child-soul's independence. Almost the first goodbye! This is when the first strands of the ether connection between you will begin to separate (used up by the child) and you will experience more freedom, more of your own individual (non-mom) self. Correspondingly, you will feel that you are not the way you used to be (overweight, usually the main thing, but other issues relating to "virginity", which actually means a woman who has not become a mother...also). You will realise you are not the same "young" woman you used to be, and the weight will weight you down, if you let it.
As long as it never compromises you prioritising the daily child care of your baby, then around half a year after having given birth is when it is time for you to start getting back into shape (the very first steps only then!). An hour of yoga, an hour at the gym, an hour's brisk walking etc. If you are lucky, you can take your child with you for these things, but it is best if you also get AT LEAST an hour to yourself for physical activity three times a week. Walking the baby in the pram counts - when it is asleep, you can just "air" it and get that work out at the same time (make sure you race down the streets till people stare at you!!). Some fanatic housework or gardening can also work a treat (and challenge a deeper understanding of the meaning of "home")
This process of shaping up will take, hold your breath, two years. Yep, that long. If you have another baby before then, the story changes again.... Best to be fit and have a fresh start each time, unless you really are a momsie-family kind of gal: but then know you will not be realistic about losing 40 pounds. Just look at all the Italian Mamas, the typical farmer's wives, the Russian Babushkas, the cosy nannies, you name the stereotypes... they paint a picture of the woman who simply has "born down to earth" and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It makes for beautiful warm environments.
But if you feel uncomfortable with this excess weight, then you also have the responsibility towards your womanhood to address it in the most balanced way. This is not easy: there is baby, possibly a daddy, society, media- and peer-pressure, coffee-mornings and then you all in one to deal with! Don't let anybody bully you - least of all your own self-image (which is generally second-hand and not updated, yet).
A simple tip to help avoid unneccessary calories and at the same time sets a great example for you child, is to cut out refined, white sugar, and hydrogenated fats. There are many serious reasons that these products are just not doing you any favours, and to boot, they put on pounds in very sneaky ways. Check out the fine print in labels, add to the no-nos artificial flavourings, sweetners and preservatives and you will probably find yourself having to cut out a lot of calorie rich, nutritionally empoverished products. Eat lots of salad and wholegrain foods. Focussing on protein can actually increase calorie intake, because of the way many proteins are prepared (with fats). Know that vegetarians also need to lose weight after pregnancy and seldom have a protein deficiency, so be cautious with protein-rich diets, which seems to be all the fad for post-partum. The trick to healthy eating is all in the process (starting with the agricultural ones, right through to the preparation, and finally the digestive ones, which are influenced by sundry subtle elements).
Finally, another stimulating factor in the case of this particular weight loss issue, is feeling more like a woman alongside a mom. This is not easy! But if you can find a way to feel more "alive and kicking" once every so often, you will see pounds fly off by the end of year one already. It's a bit of a Jeckyll and Hyde situation or a Catch 22 situation sometimes, and the bottom line is motherhood will always have to come first, and till they go to nursery (if you are a stay-at home mother) your figure will have to play second fiddle.
Keep up the healthy living and try to love your curves as the wonderful soft embrace it makes for your precious little one. They grow up so fast, your time of slim and sexy WILL come back again. It's never too late for that kind of self-expression. The challenge right now is to find a "modus vivendi" as a sexy yet earthy mother-woman.
You can do it!
Lots of cuddles to your darling little one. Take loving care of yourself. You are a lucky woman!
Love Evelyn.
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