Vegetarian Craving Meat

Question
Hello. I am a 29 years old; and up until recently I was a vegetarian for 11 1/2 years. I have never taken a multivitamin regularly but always had a pretty good diet and ate a variety of things to get my vitamins. Recently though I started craving meat. It wouldn't go away. It became so bad of a craving that I finally broke down and ate some, thinking that might nip the craving in the butt and I'd be done with it; but no. The cravings didn't go away and now I have completely fallen off the wagon for a couple months now.  I am wondering if you might know of any reasons that this happens to some people sometimes.  I am not sure if it has to do with the vitamin aspect (maybe something I was missing) or if it is something spiritual. My husband recently passed away and since then I feel that I have lost faith in many things. Maybe it is a combination of the two, I don't know - but your perspective would be helpful.

Answer
Dear Rosa,

Sorry for the delay in replying: the summer holidays have me check my mail less frequently. For it did not take me long to come up with an answer for you, otherwise! Upon reading your question, the answer emerged immediately. You actually have written an answer to yourself!

First of all, I have to extend my deepest sympathy for your great loss. You are incredibly young to have to go through widowhood but it strikes me that you have what it takes to cope with this event, which seems far from random. Your break with vegetarianism may well underpin the drive with which you need to follow the course you have been set upon, or indeed, actually have been steering for your entire life already. It will feel as if fate has taken over: pain blurs one to the insight it takes at this point in your life. Most significantly the change has come about after your 28th year. This is when you have to BE HERE, fully, responsibly, maturely, come what may. In Anthroposophic terms, the fourth seven-year development period had come to a close and your Higher Self has come of age. All great/dramatic, dynamic events taking place, be it death or (more commonly) birth around this year or in the following few years will determine (largely) the rest of your life.

Eating meat is a way of "astralising"the body. Too much makes you more "animal" or binds you TOO closely to your physical, organic self, and this is why spiritual practices often prescribe vegetarianism. There is much nutritional spiritual-scientific evidence to underpin reasonable truth in this. A regular amount feeds your body.

It takes a long time to digest meat, but it is not hard to convert animal substance (including dairy) into human protein since it is already somewhat more similar to our protein than plant protein. When your mind is preoccupied by grief and other sores, your body may well go into a kind of shut down and its metabolic system want to take it easier. Very ill people or the elderly may likewise benefit from the typical chicken soup for this reason, and cutting out meat may not be advisable. It is not exactly about a lack of vitamins/minerals, and I would not get used to substitutes for actual food: you will miss subtle cosmic energy streams for it, which you need now most of all.

Of course, there is a difference between meats: fowl or fish is not the same as beef or pork. Then there is another difference to be made between the rare rump steak or a hamburger, the roast pig belly, the sausage or the stir-fry pork, the chicken nugget or the breast filet, fish fingers or sushi, etc. etc. How you prepare meat is very significant, as is the quality of the animal you are going to ingest. Meat, as an animal,has absorbed a lot of stuff, life and energy: so chemicals, hormones and astral forces (magnetic fields, stress etc, think of how they massage Japanese prime beef cows!).It is this absorbed "astrality" which can cause health problems, hard to process for some people, impossible to process some stuff for people in general.  So I would recommend: only choose bio-dynamic meat. But also, stick to "light"and "fresh" meat. Cooking with the purpose to feed and therefore with love and devotion makes the meat more "sacred" (i.e. serving your soul). Think of Halal meat,eg. I am guessing fish has not become a part of your craving, but it might be very healing to include regular portions of (wild) deep sea fish.

The craving also may have much to do with the passing of your beloved. It can be a "grounding tool", something to get your teeth into, something to chew on, both encouraged by his absence as much as his presence. Much depends on how he passed and with which agreements (to love till death part or into death etc). It can also be a way to numb emotion (by physical "exertion"). Meat appeals much more naturally to man, to the point of envisioning a steak when famished opposite a cow, while a sheath of wheat is less likely to make your mouth water.

Your craving could be a manifestation of a grasping onto a coping tool, almost a "comfort food", but not necessarily an unwise one. It would make little sense to oppose this deep craving which is otherwise (apparently) not detrimental to your health. I am surprised, though, that you can switch so easily without any digestive or other metabolic problems. If I  even ate broth after 12 years of vegetarianism I would notice disturbances and feel very uncomfortable. Technically, however, bear in mind the gut is not prepared for the digestion of meat anymore, so go very easy on pork and rare meat. Really be cautious, and use plenty of relish (mustard, horseradish, spices) to aid you. But then again, if you feel happier for eating meat: then go for it! The only reason to fight against it would be an admission of repression, a refusal to take the hard path and choose to listen to your inner voice. Only you can know what is prompting this craving.

I do, however, detect a slight hint of guilt, which is also quite common to my ears; it is as if you have given up on a great achievement, and it is the end of an "era". This type of dietary change really notes a new phase. If it does feel like a betrayal to yourself, or a lack of discipline, then it may actually mean that you were never really meant to embark on vegetarianism until the end of all your days. It could have served its purpose, either for health reasons or spiritual purposes, or even just to aid your destiny. Sometimes, however, it can be the shadow-self that found it an appropriate or trendy idea at the time, or at least worth giving it a proper try. Then really know you are coming into your own right now, and let the vegetarian "label" go. Only those who genuinely NEED to be vegetarian from a soulful vocation, for karmic purposes, to help them stay aligned to their life-mission, will effortlessly stick to it with, actually, an increasing aversion for meat (to the point of cutting down on/out pulses, even, after mid-life).

May it be a consolation to you then, to know that the most common age to change your mind (or go on a new soul track) is around 28. Often it is a pregnancy that sways women, especially, back on a more "natural" route for them. After all, there is nothing unnatural about eating meat; on the contrary! considering the amount of dairy and leather we use in the West it is much more natural to eat meat! I am the anachronistic, anti-social one here! Also, real bio-dynamic farming depends on dairy farming: with manure needed for the crops. So don't feel guilty about eating meat, especially if you eat happy animals. It is part of their karma to become absorbed respectfully in yours.

I cannot hope that this perspective has restored your faith, but I will encourage you to hold faith on the back burner. Kick and scream at the injustice of the world for a while. Weep an ocean's worth of sorrow. Your agony is genuine and will contribute greatly to the salvation of mankind, however ludicrous this may sound to someone going through the dark night of the soul. You would not be a heart-felt person if you had not lost your faith, and I speak from experience. Only much, much later will you understand how and why. Until then, look after yourself with the dedication that honors the deceased and does not give up entirely on the living. Remain commited to embellishing your life with tenderness and gentleness whenever it falls to your attention that there is still beauty in being alive and hope in being dead. Keep parting the veils of sadness for a glimpse of what is out there, just to show your inner strength to those who care and always "walk with" you. One day something delightful will shine back at you. In the meantime, stay grounded. Find solace in nature. Keep your seedbed healthy for future growth. It is the best way to serve the dead and I can imagine you are not too keen to serve much that pertains to life, just yet. Eat well, there is much medicine for the soul therein.

Love Evelyn.

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